#Momfessions – Confessions of Iowa City Moms, Part 2

Last year, in Confessions of Iowa City Moms, we shared some of our deepest, darkest secrets. OK, maybe not our deepest, darkest secrets. But, definitely things we have a little bit of “Mommy Guilt” about. As I’m sure you know all too well, every day can bring a fresh new way to feel the Mommy Guilt. Now, the Iowa City Moms Blog writing team has a whole new year’s worth of new #momfessions to share.

Tell us we’re not alone here – do you do any of these, too?

Saving Our Sanity #Momfessions

  • I have thrown away or given away several brand new toys that my kids got as gifts shipped to them from their grandmas because they are just SO annoying and/or dangerous that I don’t want them in the house. When Grandma asks, I say the kids loved it.
  • I actually hate “children’s music” and refuse to ever play or sing it. My children know (and sing) songs straight from Broadway more than they know anything from the Top 20.
  • I hide ugly/annoying things until my daughter forgets about them. And then I throw them away. I have been caught. That sucked.
  • I refuse to buy clothes with cartoon characters plastered all over them… I just can’t do it, guys. If my daughter doesn’t have any in her drawers, it’s not even a thing.
  • When we shopped for a new fridge, we convinced my daughter that there were monsters hiding in them so she would quit opening and closing every single fridge on display.
  • If my daughter watches a show on Netflix that I can’t stand, I’ll click on a bunch of shows to bury it in the “continue watching” section so she won’t see it right away. She typically will forget, or if she does remember, I’ll tell her that Netflix took it off.
  • I pretend I’m going to the bathroom just to get a few quiet minutes alone. Sometimes I read, and sometimes I surf the internet.
  • I’ll tell my son a place is closed if I don’t want to take him… “Sorry, honey, the cupcake place isn’t open on Wednesdays!”

Keeping the Good Stuff for Ourselves #Momfessions

  • I say, “It’s for the baby,” to win arguments with the hubby when there are three of something left, and I want to have two of them (ears of corn, cupcakes, etc.). Being pregnant rocks.
  • My kids think Mommy’s phone doesn’t have games, only Daddy’s.
  • I hide the good ice cream in the garage freezer so my daughter can’t find it.
  • I have chocolate and chips stashed in several places around the house, and I eat them when the kids are out so I don’t have to share.

Getting Stuff Done #Momfessions

  • I tell my YouTube-obsessed 4-year-old that if she watches too many videos/TV, her brain will melt. But then I don’t fight too hard to get her to stop, because it ensures some quiet time for me to get stuff done.
  • When my son is being needy and we need to get things done, we play YouTube videos for him on our phones.
  • When my husband and I needed to move a heavy piece of furniture up the stairs, we needed to keep our toddler out of the way. So, I gave her a tub of cake frosting and a spoon and let her go to town, because I knew it was the one thing that she would sit still for.
My #momfession: I admit it. I gave my toddler a tub of frosting to keep her occupied.
My #momfession: I admit it. I gave my toddler a tub of frosting to keep her occupied. Thanks, Pillsbury, for making this gold star parenting moment possible!

Working Mom #Momfessions

  • At certain times of year, I end up taking a lot of work calls during dinner. When my kids play on their toy phones, sometimes they’ll use my boss’s name and say, “I have to take this, it’s (Boss’s Name),” and walk away. Then I feel like a terrible mom who works too much and doesn’t pay enough attention to the kids.
  • When I need to work extra hours at home, suddenly screen time is unlimited – you want more movies, more TV, more tablet time? The answer is a resounding YES!
  • I’m actually really good at baking, and when we were first married, or even when we just had 1-2 kids, I would bake all kinds of yummy things every week just for fun. But now, I have four kids and I own my own business. We make Tollhouse Break-n-Bake cookies, and no one is complaining. In fact, we are eating them right now and the kids are watching Garfield on Netflix while I work!

Keeping the Kids Safe #Momfessions

  • I tell my 5-year-old that there are monsters in the sewage drains in front of our house so she won’t go near them.

Keeping Secrets #Momfessions

  • I’d never tell anyone, but my favorite underwear fall into the granny panty category. So comfortable!!
  • While I would never say I have a ‘favorite,’ one of my children gets away with A LOT more.
  • I hoard my favorite outfits from pre-baby days, even though I know they will never fit the same again.

Staying Prepared (Maybe Over-Prepared) #Momfessions

  • My purse is so heavy that when I set it in the passenger seat the airbag automatically gets turned off.
  • I keep snacks in my purse “for the kids”. (I eat them when they aren’t looking.)

Momming So Hard (aka Lazy Parenting) #Momfessions

  • I’m a very heavy sleeper, so if I do wake up to my kids crying during the night I just pretend to be asleep so my husband takes care of it. So what if he has to wake up 2-3 hours before me for work? I did all those late night feedings when they were babies!
  • On the weekends I tell my kids that their first meal is ‘brunch’ so I only have to feed them once (plus supper).
  • I got sick of making my toddler lunch that he’d never eat, so I don’t cook him anything. He eats snacks around the house (goldfish, fruit, etc.) whenever he gets hungry. No one complains anymore. 
  • My kid always brings me my cell phone and my coffee if I leave it somewhere. He’s being groomed to be a great gentleman…at least that’s what I tell myself.
  • I convinced my daughter to scarf down a slice of deli ham to justify making popcorn for dinner.

There you have it. We’ve lied, hidden things from our kids, used technology as a babysitter way too often, and a lot more. Judge us if you must. But, my guess is that you’ve done at least one thing worthy of being on this list yourself.

If you can relate, pull up a seat at the Bad Moms table and tell us your own #momfessions in the comments!


 

Laura
Laura is a mom of three who works full-time from home as a Development Director for a children’s charity. Laura grew up in Maryland, spent her 20s living in Southern California and South Carolina, and has spent her 30s and now 40s in Iowa, moving to Iowa City in 2010. Laura loves dancing, reading, baking, and music. She and her husband Ryan started dating in college (gasp – over 20 years ago!) and they have been sharing life’s adventures ever since. Their biggest adventure is, of course, parenthood. With three kids, the action is non-stop - which is just the way Laura likes it.

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