Ahh…summer break! A time for sleeping in a bit later and staying up late. A time for picnics, and campouts, and days spent by the pool. Can’t you just smell the chlorine and the sunscreen right now? Don’t you just love the sun on your face and the sound of your kids splashing and laughing? If you are smiling and nodding your head “Yes!” right now, you can probably stop reading.
If you are like me and feel a pit in your stomach at the thought of trekking your kids to the pool…read on, my friend. You are not alone.
I “don’t do” swimming pools. I just don’t. Truthfully, I used to, because I felt it was my duty and I would be a terrible mother if I didn’t engage in this long-standing summer tradition. But recently I simply put my foot down. I don’t take my daughter to the pool. Now before you start feeling sorry for her because her momma is a selfish bore, I should say that she DOES go to the swimming pool quite a lot. I am fortunate that both my mother-in-law and husband like to take her. I just hate it.
There are many reasons. One is that I am blind as a bat and don’t want to lose my contacts in the water. I’m also very sensitive to the sun and burn easily. I don’t enjoy the fact that I spend my whole time there trying to block out the noise and worrying about whether my daughter is wandering out to the deep end, has enough sunscreen on, or is having any fun. I don’t like to be cold or wet and I don’t particularly like crowds and loud noises. In the past, when I did take my girls to the pool, I always would find myself thinking up excuses to leave early.
My kids and I never had a great experience. It’s better for all of us if I just leave “pool duties” to someone who enjoys it.
My mother-in-law loves the water. She and my daughter have regular pool dates, and they both come home sun-kissed and happy. My teenager, thank goodness, is at an age where the LAST thing she wants to see at the pool is her tankini-wearing mother looking miserable and telling her she needs more sunscreen. My youngest daughter still loves to go, and I’m fortunate that my husband is the kind of dad that will splash and play in the pool with her. He’ll throw her around, pretend he’s a shark, go down the waterslide, and all those other great things kids enjoy at the swimming pool.
We think we’re failing our kids when we don’t engage in everything they like to do. For me, I look at it as teaching them that it is OK to not enjoy a certain activity. Obviously, I’m not saying you should completely check out. As mothers, we need and want to care, nurture, encourage, and spend quality time with our kids.
I’m just saying that if there is an activity that you absolutely despise, it’s OK to say “no.” It is OK to let your kids, your spouse, your friends, and other moms know that you have boundaries, and that your happiness is important also.
So I’ll stick to doing craft and baking projects with my daughter, taking her to the movies, taking her to the library, and all the other things that bring both of us joy and create good positive memories. But as far as the swimming pool goes, I’m quite happy to have her build those memories with other loved ones in her family. When she comes home smelling like sunscreen and chlorine and happily exhausted, I’ll give her a bath, snuggle up with her and we’ll read “Diary of a Wimpy Kid” together. THAT I am looking forward to.
Are there any activities that your kids love that you simply don’t? Please share in the comments.
When married every year was a trip to a water park for vacation. I am not interested in being in water that half the kids have peed in. I don’t want to listen to screaming kids either having a good time or throwing a fit because it is time to go. I let my ex do the pool duty. I share the reading, cooking and eating parts 🙂
My no-go is BOARD GAMES…especially Monopoly.