Drudging through her natural habitat, the aisles of Target, she clings to her venti latte for survival. Young creatures can be observed hanging onto her legs or wiping their noses on her shirt with abandon. They serenade her and the fellow shoppers with the loud, jarring songs of their people. A fellow specimen, another of her kind, passes by with a knowing smile. There’s no need to exchange words, when a friendly wink or nod towards the wine section will suffice. Exhausted, she continues on.
A Mombie has been spotted.
A Mombie is a mom who is slowly turning into a zombie. She’s overworked, under-caffeinated, and longing for an uninterrupted shower. A Mombie is in the fog of motherhood, the hazy depths of sleep deprivation and temporary insanity. She constantly engages in a cycle of reheating her coffee in the microwave, only to give up and drink it cold. This specimen has resigned herself to the dark circles under her eyes, for they are a temporary marking. She’s a force to be reckoned with, possessing superhuman strength and the protective instincts of a mama bear.
Instead of eating brains, the Mombie finds nourishment in stolen Cheerios from her toddler and sloppy kisses. She’s tender and loving but will take no crap. A Mombie is smack dab in the not-so-magical time when she’s overwhelmed by a concoction of joy and isolation, triumphs and mom fails. This specimen is a tribal creature, craving rituals such as ‘Girls Night Out’ and ‘Taco Tuesday’ with fellow pack members. She loves her children fiercely, but for goodness sake can this sleep regression be over?!
A Mombie keeps hearing that things will get easier, but the fog is so dense she can’t yet see the other side.
You may be wondering, how does this writer know so much about Mombies? Has she studied their habits and behavior? Researched their kind? No, curious readers, I’m not a trained expert of Mombies. The truth is, I am one in full force. A full-time working, barely functioning, occasionally forgets-her-pump-parts-at-home and constantly ‘rocks’ the messy bun Mombie to an adorable baby boy. At this moment, I’m in the thick of my transformation. It ain’t pretty.
So rather than tell you ‘this too shall pass,’ this is one Mombie who just wants to acknowledge to the next how hard this is and how amazing you are.
Before having kids you probably had no idea you were this strong and resilient, but look at you (okay maybe not too closely–there’s spit up on your shirt), mothering like a boss! You function on the minimal amount of sleep, take care of miniature versions of yourself, and still manage to get out of the house.
Rather than be ashamed, we should embrace the Mombie life like a badge of courage, unfiltered and totally not Instagram ready. Or at the very least, let’s embrace it as a Halloween costume. Because let’s face it, we currently look scarier than the three Sanderson Sisters combined.